Saturday, May 16, 2015

Monkey Business

This is actually an expansion of a Twitter-length story I wrote that was publsihed a while back at Tweet the Meat.

Organ Grinder
Pepe didn’t like to admit it, but he knew that his was a vanishing trade.  Rising insurance and licensing costs were putting organ grinders like him out of business.  It didn’t help that his monkey, Marcel, had become aggressive in his old age.  The monkey had developed some nasty habits: snatching cigarettes from customers’ mouths, clawing women’s pantyhose, and ripping toupees from bald men’s heads.  The behavior cut into what little profit Pepe enjoyed.
So Pepe turned the crank, and the grinding of heart, liver and spleen were music to his ears.  He could always get another monkey.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Fish Story

And for the fishing enthusiasts...

Catch and Release

Two teens stood on a pier, fishing.
“Got one!” The younger boy reeled in a tiny sea bass.
“Too small,” said his friend.  “Throw it back.  Tournament rules.”
The boy knelt to drop the fish back into the water.
At that instant a Great White shark leapt out of the water and swallowed the boy whole.  A moment later the shark spit the boy’s mangled body back onto the pier.
A Hammerhead shark swam up to the Great White, shaking its head.
“Doesn’t count.  It’s got to be able to stand up and walk away.  Tournament rules.”

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Spidey Senses

I can't tell you how many times I've seen spiders crawling around in my car while I'm driving...

 Creepy Crawly

The spider rappelled from the sun visor.  Joe nearly swerved off the freeway.  He swiped at the spider, sending it flying into the passenger foot well.
Later, Joe felt something on the back of his hand.  There crouched the spider.  Joe slapped at it, losing control of the car, which careened off the road and came to rest with a thump against a rotting tree trunk.  With little damage to the car Joe felt lucky.  That is until a carpet of spiders poured out of the tree and onto the hood.  And Joe discovered his seatbelt was jammed.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Good, clean horror

Anyone who's ever spent time in a laundromat can probably relate to this one.

The Laundromat

The dryer spun, articles of clothing making brief appearances in the round window before tumbling out of sight. 

The man sat, feet up, balancing on the back legs of the plastic chair, watching his laundry dry.  

Behind him a woman stood, fuming.  The man had removed her still damp clothes from the dryer and replaced them with his own.  

He never saw the machete in the woman’s hand.

The dryer spun, articles of clothing now stained red making brief appearances in the round window before tumbling out of sight, providing occasional glimpses of the man’s wide-eyed severed head.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

World Horror Convention 2015

Excited to be attending the World Horror Convention in Atlanta this year - hope to see you there!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Haunted Attraction

If you're looking for a Halloween attraction in the Detroit area, I'd like to recommend Wiard's Orchards' "Night Terrors"


Thursday, August 7, 2014

Dental horrors

My latest 100-word terror comes via a suggestion from my daughter, Samantha, who saw something online she thought would make a good horror story.  I think she was right, and I hope you agree.

Don’t Forget to Floss


The dental hygienist frowned.

“Dr. Miller won't be happy about those gums.”

Roger Antwerp spit blood into the bowl and turned to speak, but the hygienist was gone.

The dentist came into the room and probed Roger’s mouth.  Above his mask, his eyebrows formed a bushy “V” of disapproval.

“Mrs. Antwerp,” he said, “would you and your daughter come in, please?”

Roger’s wife and 9 year-old daughter appeared.   Dr. Miller pulled a pistol out of his lab coat and shot them.  They collapsed in two crimson heaps.

“They  bleed,” the dentist explained, “because you don’t floss.”