Monkey Business

This is actually an expansion of a Twitter-length story I wrote that was publsihed a while back at Tweet the Meat.

Organ Grinder

Pepe didn’t like to admit it, but he knew that his was a vanishing trade.  Rising insurance and licensing costs were putting organ grinders like him out of business.  It didn’t help that his monkey, Marcel, had become aggressive in his old age.  The monkey had developed some nasty habits: snatching cigarettes from customers’ mouths, clawing women’s pantyhose, and ripping toupees from bald men’s heads.  The behavior cut into what little profit Pepe enjoyed.

So Pepe turned the crank, and the grinding of heart, liver and spleen were music to his ears.  He could always get another monkey.

Fish Story

And for the fishing enthusiasts...

Catch and Release

Two teens stood on a pier, fishing.

“Got one!” The younger boy reeled in a tiny sea bass.

“Too small,” said his friend.  “Throw it back.  Tournament rules.”

The boy knelt to drop the fish back into the water.

At that instant a Great White shark leapt out of the water and swallowed the boy whole.  A moment later the shark spit the boy’s mangled body back onto the pier.

A Hammerhead shark swam up to the Great White, shaking its head.

“Doesn’t count.  It’s got to be able to stand up and walk away.  Tournament rules.”